Dempsey & Carroll Frequently Asked Questions About Invitation Etiquette
Why should I choose engraving rather than thermography?
Of the two, engraving is of much higher quality. Thermography is certainly an option and delivers a well-rendered typeface, but as in all levels of distinction, there is a discriminating difference.
In the process of engraving, pressure is applied from behind the paper leaving a telltale 'bruise' on the back. The more skilled the engraver, the more gentle the bruise. Thermography is strictly a surface treatment.
Another tactile distinction between engraving and thermography is the somewhat exaggerated feel of thermography versus the subtly engraved word in ink with a matte finish.
Thermography was developed as a less costly alternative to engraving. If your budget allows, we recommend you choose engraving.
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Should my wedding invitation be "traditional" or "something different"?
It all depends on the ceremony and your own personal style. Your wedding invitation acts as an ambassador, representing the atmosphere of the planned event, and should be designed accordingly.
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What exactly is a "traditional" invitation?
A traditional invitation harkens back to the 18th and 19th centuries when entertaining was almost always formal. The most traditional invitation is a simple ecru foldover with a script typestyle reminiscent of hand-written invitations. Black or grey ink is most commonly used. This form of invitation is enclosed in an inner envelope with a loose sheet of tissue, to prevent the ink from smudging during its delivery. The inner envelope is addressed with the invitees’ name only, as in ‘Mr. Brown’ and was designed to be hand-delivered to the recipient. The outer envelope, often damaged in transit, was typically discarded by the butler.
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What does RSVP stand for?
Respondez’ s’il vous plait, or "please respond" in French. To use the word "please" with RSVP is therefore redundant. Contact information may be provided near the RSVP if you do not think everyone knows where to call or write his or her response.
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Should the outer envelope be lined?
Traditionally the outer envelope is not lined; however, some people prefer to have a lining in the outer envelope as well as the inner envelope.
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What is blind embossing?
Blind embossing is colorless engraving. It is a subtle form of personalization and is a sophisticated alternative to traditional contrast engraving. It looks equally elegant with a monogram or a name.
Recently the United States Post Office took a stand with regard to embossing and has declared it will not return letters with a blind embossed return address.
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Is there an accepted protocol for formal wedding invitations when it comes to parents who have divorced?
No, it is a matter of personal choice as to whether parents and stepparents names are to appear on the invitation.
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Do you use the bride’s full name if the mother of the bride has re-married and the bride’s father’s name does not appear on the invitation?
Yes, this is the only case in which the bride’s complete maiden name is used on the invitation.
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Is it "honour" or "honor", "favour" or "favor"?
The old English spellings of "honour" and "favour" are usually preferred. But again this is a matter of personal choice and should reflect the formality of your invitation and event.
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Should the words "black tie" appear on formal invitations?
Traditionally, the time of day and the location would determine the appropriate attire for a formal wedding. After six o’clock in the evening, black tie is assumed, although the casualness of contemporary times seems to require guidance on what to wear. Therefore, "black tie" may be included on the invitation simply as a courtesy.
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What would be a dignified way to portray a less formal wedding while retaining a traditional effect?
An engraved invitation on heavy card stock would still be traditional but not as formal as a folded invitation. A symbolic motif at the heading and a vibrant ink color or border accent would also make the invitation less formal, while still traditional. In this case, you would not use two envelopes, but a colorful liner would be attractive for the envelope. Select a typeface that is less formal (for instance, a simple script). If you do not see a typeface you like on our website, please call us and we will provide additional choices.
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What is the key ingredient to an impressive invitation?
Paper quality is the truest mark of a fine invitation. Your paper should be 100% cotton for its rich texture. Paper quality is the first thing one notices. The next attraction to a well done invitation is typesetting and engraving that reflects the spirit of the celebration.
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Should a bridal registry be noted on the invitation?
No, this information is generally obtained through discreet inquiry.
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What is the best way to enclose directions to the event?
The directions should be clearly stated and /or drawn on a separate enclosure. It is thoughtful to include the phone numbers of local inns. It is best to keep ancillary information, such as directions and lodging on a smaller scale compared to the size of the invitation itself. Traditionally this material is sent under separate cover.
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Is calligraphy a must for addressing engraved envelopes?
For the pure traditionalist, calligraphy is a must. However, as times and styles change other alternatives, such as computer calligraphy are increasingly acceptable. The most important rule of thumb is that the handwriting be bold and self-confident. Never use a ballpoint pen for addressing, but rather a good, felt nibbed pen that will render a strong appearance and a boldness of declaration. Never use printed labels for such a significant occasion.
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It is assumed single invitees will bring a guest?
Unless you have extended a verbal encouragement for them to do so, or addressed your inner envelope as ‘Miss Brown & Guest.’ It is unacceptable for a single invitee to bring a guest.
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When should thank-you notes go out for shower and wedding presents?
As soon as possible. It is considered in poor taste to allow them to lag over six weeks from the receipt of gifts.
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